Gily
by msgrits
Summary: Sara and Gil meet years after a disatorous affair. She has a suprise for him. GSR COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

Title: Gily 

**Author: Msgrits**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or anything related to CSI. I do however own my own mind and it's in pretty good working order.**

**Pairings: G/S and a small tiny hint of W/C**

**Ratings: PG or PG-13 I never know **

**Spoilers: Uh…I don't think so.**

**Thanks to Ash and FishTank-36 betaing. **

**I offer you my version of a time-tested cliché. I fixed if its not broke why fix it.**

**What' that I smell? Oh yeah left over Valentine's Day fluff.**

Chapter 1

Sara looked over her notes one last time. She slipped her glasses on and looked at the assembled group.

"Good morning. I am Dr. Sara Sidle and today I will speak on erroneous DNA analysis and how to prevent it. I am going to ask you to save your questions until the end as some questions may be covered later in the lecture."

Gil knew she had not seen him. The spot he sat in was for maximum concealment. Her hair was longer; she had stopped straightening it and he liked it that way. He was surprised to see her wearing her glasses. She hated them, saying that it played into the science geek stereotype. As she spoke he was reminded of how smart she was, much smarter than he would ever be. She had laughed when he told her that once.

"_No one is smarter than you Gil Grissom."_

"_You are."_

"_I'm just older. I know more tricks_"

She had never asked him about his broken promise. She had stayed at the crime lab for a month, packed up her things and moved to California where she finished the degree that had been interrupted when she had taken the job in San Francisco.

She traveled around the country now doing consulting work for labs that had problems with results validity. She had helped several labs in distress turn their operation around.

He doubted that he would have come if he had known Sara was going to be on the schedule. She did very few conferences so Gil had not expected her to be there.

When she was done there were very few questions. Her presentation had been clear cut and solid like Sara. He rose before she left the small stage. She wouldn't want to see him and he couldn't even bare the notion of seeing her.

Sara moved down the hall with one earpiece in her ear and speaking softly into the phone.

She stopped in her tracks when she saw the back of his head. The salt and pepper curls, the slow walk, the hands in his pockets. She knew that his Paul Newman eyes were scanning his path for every detail. They would miss nothing and no one. He had to know she was at the conference. She was oddly hurt and insulted that he hadn't tried to see her or attend the lecture. Her hand almost went out to touch him but she didn't dare. She wanted to flee the room but her agile mind couldn't figure out an escape route. So she just stood there, the long legs that used to wrap around his body in the middle of the night would not move.

He didn't hear her, as so much as he felt her, maybe even smelled her. Her scent was a heady combination of musk and something floral. His movement didn't slow or change in anyway. He didn't take his hands out of his pockets. He moved because he didn't know what else to do. He should not have come and would not have come if Catherine hadn't gotten sick. He knew that two forensics experts would not be able to avoid one another forever but he needed more time.

_More time to do what Gil? You've had five years. Turn around and face this woman. Face her. Tell her you are sorry that you were weak and cowardly. Tell her that you hope she's had a good life. Tell her that you are happy she is so successful._

He turned around and was not surprised to find her so near. They had always been like magnets from the first instant, the first day, drawn to one another's orbit unable to break the spell no matter how they tried.

She watched his face as he turned. She wanted the years to have ravaged him the same way they had been kind to her. They hadn't, they probably never would. He was a man of the Sean Connery ilk; no matter the age or place in time he would always turn heads. Women and men would always speak in hushed whispers about the distracted, brilliant man who seemed not to notice or want the attention his looks attracted. There would always be some flirty student or colleague who wouldn't give up the quest, some unrequited love that continued to feed his ego even if he didn't acknowledge that it did. Sara prayed that she was no longer that woman.

His hands fought against reason and he burrowed them deeper into his pockets.

"Hi" His voice was gentle low and soft.

"Hi" She wanted to retain a hard edge that she desperately needed for self-protection but she couldn't.

He hadn't realized that she was talking on the phone until she spoke into the mike of the earpiece. "Sweetie let me call you back. I promise. I love you more."

He was glad that she had someone. She deserved that.

The earpiece hung like a limp deformed snake as she disconnected it from the phone. He was surprised to see nails painted fire engine red. She moved closer to where he stood.

"How are you?" She was speaking so low that he had to read her lips to understand.

"Good. You look good. I have read a few of your papers. They are very good."

_Do you know another word besides good?_

"Thank you. I didn't know you'd be here. Catherine and I were supposed to have lunch tomorrow."

"Catherine got sick."

"Oh. Is she okay?"

"She's got the flu or something. She'll be fine. She's a just little dehydrated."

"Oh. Are you giving a lecture?"

"Just replacing Catherine on a panel."

"Oh."

He moved closer. He wanted to smell her breath, wanted to feel the warmth of it on his face. After all this time he was ashamed to find himself still a man possessed. "Can we go somewhere and talk? Have cup of coffee or something. I know that you probably don't want to talk to me but…"

A red nail touched a bit of hand that peaked out from his pocket. "It's okay Gil. I have no idea why it's okay but it is."

He opened and closed his eyes. He had no right to expect it and certainly didn't deserve it. "Let's go to my room. We can order room service and you can say whatever it is you have to say." _Then maybe I can stop dreaming about you. Stop seeing you across the table or walking through my house._

She doubted that she would ever be able to fully stop doing the latter.

Grissom sat on the sofa looking at the woman he should have married and cursed himself.

She took his hand in hers. "How are you Gil?"

"I am okay."

"How's Julia?" She said it with no malice. She seemed to hold little malice concerning anything that had happened between them. There were scars. Some still red, others a little swollen but mostly she was healed.

"She's divorcing me. Actually she's been divorcing me for the last two years. She comes back periodically."

"I'm sorry." Her eyes had a few crows' feet now and they softened her edges.

"No need for that."

She waited for him to ask the question that was lingering in the air. He didn't take the bait.

"How are you?"

"Good. Very Good."

"I'm happy for you Sara and I probably don't have the right to be, but I'm very proud."

They sat for a moment regarding one another trying to decide as old lovers do. Should we? Will we? Will it be the same? How can it be?

"Are you married?"

"No."

"Oh I thought…" His voice was interrupted by a knock on the door. Sara frowned and stood. He watched her body sway and move from side to side. She had taken off her shoes and fire engine red toe nail polish glinted under the stockings.

She looked through the peephole, grinned broadly and pulled it open. A short round woman with red hair held the hand of a little boy. "What are you guys doing here? I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow."

"Dr. Sidle I'm so sorry I was trying to tell you that on the phone. Someone insisted that they had to see their mommy or they would just die. We were at the airport when we called." She pointed to the small head. The boy wrapped his hand around Sara's.

"Hi mommy." The boy grinned shyly.

Gil watched, trying to take it all in. He stood. His hands met the pockets again. He tried to see the child that stood between Sara and the other woman.

"Hey sweetie what are you doing? Did you give Lori trouble? What have I told you about that?"

The little boy's blue eyes dropped to the floor and he stuck fist in his mouth. Sara stroked his soft curls. "I'm sorry mommy. I missed you. Lori said it was okay."

She smiled at the woman. "You can't give in to him. He's a con artist."

Lori was not listening. She was starring at Gil now. He gave the short woman a small wave. She waved back and stepped closer to study his features. He stood as the woman neared. He extended his hand. "Hi. I'm Gil Grissom."

"I'm Lori McDermott, Gily's nanny. I must say that the resemblance is startling. I mean Dr. Sidle told me but…"

Gil looked at Sara. She stared blankly. She had learned that stare from guilty suspects that had come to believe in their own innocence.

Lori spoke a bit louder. Dr. Sidle had told her about the hereditary hearing problem that Gily might inherit from his father. A tiny hand inserted it in Gil's. Sara watched the scene play out in front of her. "Hi."

The little boy looked down had Gil's shoes. "I have a picture of you?"

Gil got on knee and looked at the shy boy. He knew that not having children had been a mistake. It had never seemed right with Julia. "You have a picture of me?"

Sara motioned for Lori to move to the other part of the suite.

The little boy nodded again. Gil took in his olive skin, the cleft in his chin, the dark curls. Grissom lowered his head so that he could see the boy's eyes. "Where did you get a picture of me?" The eyes were the same color as his. They were more like Gil's father, steel blue with a mystery of dark flecks.

The little boy pulled a Velcro wallet covered with animated insects from his jacket pocket. He presented his father with picture of Gil and Sara that had been taken during overnight trip for work. A roving photographer had taken it at a restaurant. It had been the first night they had slept together.

_Griss don't be such a party pooper._

_Most men would be honored to have their picture taken with a hot young babe now smile for the camera._

"Mommy gave it to me."

The boy looked up and touched his chin. "She says we look alike. She said we act alike. She said that you don't like people neither. She said that we could have…" The small head turned to Sara. "What are the words?"

Sara sat on the bed. Her legs refused to support her. "Anti-social tendencies."

Gily continued. "She says you like bugs too. She says that you might come see me one day. I can't see your dent." He pointed to Grissom's beard. Grissom took his hand in his and pressed into the cleft in his chin. "It's there. You feel it? " Grissom cast a glance back at Sara.

"What else did mommy say?"

"She says that you're very smart." The boy's shyness returned. "She says I'm smart too. I get to go to school with people that are older than me. She said you would be…" the boy looked at her mother. "I forgot the word."

She filled in the blank again she worked hard to compose herself. "Proud."

Grissom stood still holding Gily's hand, starting at Sara. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She read the confusion in his eyes. "Gil I emailed you. I called you. I left messages."

"Sara I never heard from you again after you left Vegas. I never heard from you again."

She didn't say what she could have said. What he thought she deserved to say. You said that you would come back but you didn't. You took your wife home after she found out about me but you didn't. What was I supposed to do Gil?

She looked at his eyes. He was a lot of things but he was not a liar at least not about this. Gily stood between his parents, holding both their hands looking from one to another. "I can tell everybody at school that my daddy came special to see me."

Sara looked towards her son and tried not to cry. Her mind had been so muddled during those days. Her mind raced. Why hadn't Grissom gotten her emails or her voicemails?

"Are you going to go to the zoo with us? My friend Danny, his daddy never goes to the zoo because he's very important and busy. Mommy says you're very busy and important that's why you didn't come to see me yet. Are you still busy?"

Gill took his eyes from Sara and looked at his son. "No son I'm not busy anymore."


	2. 2

Chapter 2

Sara watched the two of them so alike, hands behind their heads blue eyes glued to the Discovery Channel. "Gilberts we have to eat. You can't hold up all night and watch TV."

Neither set of azure eyes turned her way. They spoke at the same time. "Room Service."

She stepped into their sightline. "No we're going out. You two have been holed up in the room for a week ordering room service and watching TV." She directed her comment to Gil. "I'm not raising a hermit. Now up"

Khaki pants and denim shirts shifted across the bed. Sara ignored the grumbling. The elder Gil spoke in a whine. "How long do we have to stay out?"

Sara glared at him. "What is this with you, this not going out?"

The older Gil didn't look at her as he tried to tame his son's curls. He wondered if the spit trick his mother used really did work. "I have everything I need right here."

She didn't know what that meant. They had been together a week. Grissom had checked out of his room and he'd moved into the suite. He slept with Gily much to his son's delight. Sara tried not to think of him in the other room. She was slightly ashamed that she still ached for him and that she hoped that he would come to her at night after their son was asleep.

"Daddy, are you leaving in the morning?"

"Yes I have to go back to work." He put on his son's small white tennis shoes. Sara smiled as he checked the toe to make sure they still fit.

Gil watched as Gily looked down at his small hands. The boy wouldn't look at his father. Sara watched him pull the boy into his lap. "When will I be in San Diego to see you?"

"Seven days"

"And seven days is?"

"A week."

"Do you believe me?"

Four-year-old shoulders shrugged. "You might get busy again. Mommy says you're very important."

Grissom reached for his cell phone and dialed a number. His speech was rapid fire.

"Kelly, yes Gil Grissom. What does the Family Leave and Medical Act say about paternity leave?" He listened for several minutes. "What if I've just found out about the existence of a child? What I mean is what if my child is not a newborn but I just found out about him. Call me back."

He looked at Sara. "What's say we cash in your plane tickets and take the long way home?"

"What about work? Don't you need to hear back from work?"

Sara watched in amazement as Gil blew a strawberry on to his son's stomach laughing stomach "It doesn't matter."


	3. 3

A/N Let me know what you think. Thanks for the support and the reviews. 

Chapter 3

Gil stood in the lobby waiting on Sara and Gily. He had picked up a rental car, actually it was an SUV. Gily wanted a high car like his teacher Mr. Wilson drove.

Gil wasn't surprised to here someone call his name. He was at a forensics convention. He turned in the direction of the voice; a smiling Julia stood a few feet away from him. Her lovely face was open and pleasant. Her hand touched his arm. He stared at it and then removed it from his bicep.

"I'm so glad I caught you. Gil we need to talk. This divorce thing is just lunacy."

"Julia what are you doing here?" Gil's voice was like steel scrapping across gravel. She stepped back a little.

"I called the office and talked to Sofia. She said you were here because Catherine fell ill. I thought that we could take a drive home, talk about things, and maybe stop at that little inn."

She was plaintive and sweet. A few days ago he might have signed up for the roller coaster again. He had not been particularly interested in getting a divorce but neither was he particularly interested in staying married. Julia came and went as she pleased. He had no investment in it one way or another.

There was a soft pat on Gil's calf muscle. Gily stuck his head through Grissom's legs and

gave him a sweet grin. They were wearing the Gilbert regulation uniform of khaki pants and denim shirt. Gil had been unable to find matching loafers.

"I was sneaking up on you."

"You were huh? Well you can't sneak up on someone if you are going to warn them. You'd make a very bad criminal and mommy and daddy would catch you."

Gily giggled and his father pulled him through his legs and hoisted him to his shoulders.

"Did you buy a high car?"

The sharp intake of breath came from Sara. She was remarkably poised and her eyes narrowed a bit as her mouth pushed forward. Some perception came across her features.

"Julia."

"Sara."

Sara took Gily from his father and said, "We'll be sitting over there."

Grissom heard what she was thinking and he pulled the rental key from his pocket. "The truck is out front. It's a silver Cherokee."

Sara looked at him. Her mouth was close to his ear. He turned and kissed her softly on the lips. He had not meant to do it. He saw tiny frown lines that had not been there five years ago. "Are you sure?"

"I'm right behind you."

Julia watched the other woman go, her chin jutted out hostilely. "That woman just won't go away will she?"

Gil Grissom's eyes found his wife's. "She's the mother of my son. She doesn't have to but then you know that don't you dear." The words were hard and biting. For the last five years Gil Grissom had paid penance to his wife for the indiscretion that she would not let die.

He hadn't blamed her, had understood in fact. "Julia you knew what my father leaving did to me so you knew that I wouldn't let my child grow up without me."

She had known more than that. Julia Grissom had found the well appointed house that her husband had paid for with a few key strokes and a city map. Julia was not surprised to find him there. It was his house, his lover.

The domestic scene had caused her to pause. Gil sat on the couch reading the paper and sipping a drink while Sara's worked on framing something or another. He loved her. He did not love Julia.

Julia had not been sure why he stayed but she had triumphed in it. She had kept her husband. She stood her ground and Gil had chosen her. Only he had not. Julia had learned that brave stalwart Gil Grissom could be cowardly in the matters of the heart. Julia was the least complicated choice, the choice that didn't require sacrifice.

If Gil had known about his son, he would've left her. It would have been the nail in the coffin. She wondered if he knew how many times he had called her Sara or how many times he had referred to a memory that they did not share.

Grissom spoke again. "I had Jim change the locks. The signed papers are at your attorney's office. I suggest you sign them. You don't want to drag this thing into court."

Sara sat in the Cherokee one finger jammed in her mouth. She chewed nervously. Gil sat in the driver's seat and pulled on his seat belt. He smiled at her as he pulled the finger from her mouth. "Ready?"

"Are you sure Gil? You don't have to do this. I won't keep Gily from you."

Gil turned to his son who sat watching wide eyed from the back seat. "Don't you have a t-ball game in the morning?"

Blue eyes sparkled. "Yes."

"And the coach says that they can't win without you right?"

A head nod from the back seat.

Grissom turned the key in the ignition. "Well we better get moving because the star player must be well rested."


	4. 4

Chapter 4

Sara immerged from her home office with bare feet and blood shot eyes. Grissom handed her a glass of wine and bade her to sit. Gily was glued to something involving red puppets and high-pitched squealing. "I ordered pizza and made a salad."

She put her head down on the counter. "What kind of pizza?"

Gily turned spoke from the living floor his eyes rolling. "What kind do you think mom, half veggie and half pepperoni. Me and daddy are..." He looked at his father.

"Carnivores."

Sara nodded as she put her head down on the counter. Gil regarded her face.

"You're exhausted."

"How can I be exhausted you're the one who's been playing mister mom all day?"

He smiled down her. "Okay so we're both exhausted. I think I'm going to write a book."

The cool marble felt good on cheek. "You already wrote a book."

His hands found the back of her neck. "No this one is going to be more practical."

"What's it going to be about?"

"A self help book for old dads, I have some of the chapters named already, Bengay is your friend or, She's young. She's hot. She's fertile."

He felt a soft laugh ripple through his body. Gil had been in San Diego for a week. The Family Leave Act allowed for time off and he was taking every hour of it.

Her hair had fallen away from her neck and Gil wanted to kiss her there. Gily's hands reaching up proffering his cell phone interrupted his thoughts. Grissom took it from him.

"Well hello there friend of nearly two decades. What the hell is this about extended leave and what's this about you and some kid that look's like you spit him out at the conference?"

Grissom had not thought of anything or anyone but Sara and Gily, trying to make right all the wrong that had been done to them.

Sara sat up and gave him a gap toothed grin as she heard Catherine's voice through the phone. "Cath I'm sorry I should've called. Are you having to take up my slack?"

"Are you kidding? I'm through with night shift. Sofia is doing her time. I think she likes it actually. Put Sara on the phone."

He shook his head and passed the phone. Sara listened.

"Please please tell me that you have run off that shrew of a wife."

Grissom left as he heard the doorbell ring.

"I don't think it was me."

"Okay so you and miniature Gil whatever whoever I don't care. He is just like him?"

"Oh yeah."

"I guess I'll get the details later. Email me pictures and I'll see you soon."

"Oh I'm not planning on going to the Boston thing."

"I wasn't talking about Boston. Gil Grissom is not letting you and that boy out of his sight. It's a good thing you can work wherever you want. Not that it would matter."


	5. 5

Chapter 5

Grissom had his feet up on the table. His blue eyes scanning the pages, his lips parted just a bit in concentration. Sara didn't know what he was reading but he had buried in the book since after dinner.

"Do we have any rituals?"

"What?"

"Do we have any family rituals?"

Sara peered at him at him from her work at the kitchen table. "Gily gets to pick out the Christmas tree every year."

Grissom wrote something on the pad that was close to his hand.

He continued reading, after a few minutes he spoke. "What is our definition of success for Gily?"

"Gil what are you reading?"

He held up my book. "Dr. Phil's Family First he says that we should have definition of success for our children."

_/Did I just say our children? I meant the universal we or the collective we. Sure you did./_

_/Did he just say our children/_

"I can't believe you're reading Dr. Phil."

He peered over his glasses at Sara. "This is good stuff." A sharp rap came on the back door. A tall man that resemble young Dean Martin burst into the kitchen with a messenger bag over his shoulder and shock of black hair falling into his dark eyes. He handed Sara a coffee simultaneously opening the fridge and began to speak rapidly in a southern accented voice.

"Whose big ole shoes are those on the back porch? I know they aren't Alan's 'cause that man has little feet. When is Gily coming home? Did you finish your paper? How was the conference? Did I tell you that my dissertation committee says I'm a go? Brad still hasn't called me back but we didn't expect him to."

He had pulled out a loaf of bread and was constructing a sandwich that looked like something Dagwood would eat in the Sunday comics.

Gil watched in amusement from the couch. The young man was taking a huge bite when he saw Gil. He mumbled something as he stared openly. Gil stood and moved counter where the dark haired man stood. Gil shook the young man's hand.

"Damn. What did you do clone Gily?" He took a smaller bite. "Those your shoes on the back porch?" He looked from Sara to Gil. Gil had an urge to cover his private parts.

"I'm Gil Grissom and you are?"

"Gil Grissom, the Gil Grissom who wrote the single most definitive guide to entomology. Shit!" Dean Martin turned on Sara. "Diva how dare you hold out on me. It's the quiet ones I tell you."

"You've read my book…"

"Sorry I'm Roland, Sara's assistant. Of course I've read your book. Who hasn't read your book?"

"Science geek?"

Roland presented a row of even teeth. "Pursuing my PhD in Forensic Biology."

He pointed to his plate. "You want a sandwich?"

"Sure."

Sara looked from one man to another. "You never make me sandwiches and I pay you."

"Drink your coffee beside he's cuter than you."

Grissom gave Sara a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

Gil watched as he moved his about the kitchen. "So who's Alan?"

Sara had hoped he's missed that part of his Roland's tirade. She should have known that Gil Grissom would not have missed one word. It wasn't quite fair for men like Gil to have all their senses in working order.

Gil watched appreciatively as Roland slathered mayonnaise on a thick slice of what appeared to be homemade bread. "Trifling boy Sara was dating." He stopped mid slather and looked at Gil. "You made him go away right?"

Gil looked at Sara. He was enjoying her discomfort. "Did I?"

Sara ducked the bullet. "We weren't dating."

"Diva you might not have been dating him but he was dating you. Dr. Grissom he is as tired as wet wilted lettuce."

Sara looked at her star struck assistant. "He get's Dr. Grissom and I get Diva?"

Roland held up a hand in a stop sign motion. "In my world Diva is an honor. This man has written the only book I keep on my night stand besides the Bible passed down from my sainted Nana, God rest her precious soul." Something occurred to Roland. "Will you sign my copy?"

Gil bit into his sandwich and sipped the lemonade that Roland had poured for him. "So tell me about Alan."

They leaned their heads together like old friends. Sara was not sure how she had lost control of the situation but she had.

"Well his name is Alan Rosenthall. He's actually my department chair. He is a pompous blow heart and I'm convinced the only reason he hasn't run my cute ass out of the program is because I work for Sara. He doesn't like my work because I've disproven several of his so-called theories. He would drink Sara's bathwater if she let him." He took a sip from his on glass and smiled wickedly. "He also has tiny feet. You ever seen a man over 6 feet who wears a size 9 shoe?"

Gil ate merrily.


	6. 6

Chapter 6

Sara looked in the pot one last time. The noodles were supposed to stick on the wall. That's what the guy on TV said was the key to good pasta. She was considering having a go at it when Gil walked in the door.

Sara smiled at him nervously. "Hi."

Gil looked over the shoulder to the boiling pot. "Where's Gily?"

She was wearing a peach linen dress that came just above her knee. Her long legs were pale from working inside. He found himself wondering if her thighs would feel the same against the sides of his torso. Her feet were bare and had no polish. He idly thought about the crimson she wore when they were first united.

"He's at Danny's. Lorie's going to pick him up and drop him off later."

Gil licked his dry lips as he took in Sara's clothing. "Are you expecting company?"

She smoothed the skirt of her dress with her hands. "No. I made dinner. I made us dinner."

Gil swallowed. They were having dinner alone, without Gily, just the two of them. She was dressed in that color with those legs to have dinner that she made for him.

_God protects babies and fools. _

"What can I do?"

"Just sit. You're dead on your feet. You don't have to squeeze four years of parenting into a week Gil. It's impossible."

He sat and picked at a piece of bread in a basket the table. It nearly melted in his mouth. "This is good."

"I baked it."

"You bake bread?"

Sara shrugged. "It's a mommy thing. It's like a cult, one minute you are wearing stiletto heels drinking apple martinis the next you're cursing out the soccer coach cause your kid can't run two steps without falling."

"You cursed out the soccer coach?"

"No. Danny's mom did."

He tore off a bigger piece of bread. "I don't want him to think that I don't want him. I don't want him to feel like I felt."

She sat a plate of hot food in front of him. It reminded him of when they had been together before. She knew what he was thinking. He took a bite of food.

"Sara I want you to know that I appreciate you not vilifying me to him. You could have. You had ever right to do that but you didn't."

"I guess I must've known that you wouldn't just abandon him purposefully."

He looked into her chocolate eyes. "Like I did you."

"Yes. Like you did me."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be. I didn't deserve it Griss."

"No you didn't."

"You haven't asked why."

"I know why. You can't stand to loose control."

"So you and this Alan... Um... Do... Sara do I have a chance?"

"Yes. Griss you have a chance."

She grinned at his next words.

"Am I a long shot or do I have pretty good odds?"


	7. 7

Chapter 7

Sara woke to find the sound of her son's panicked voice in the dark. He sniffled softly.

"Mommy, Daddy's gone. Did he get busy again?"

Grissom sat up and found the outline of his small frame in the dark as he threw off the covers. "I'm here Gily."

Relief made way through panic. "Why aren't you sleeping in your room?"

Sara leaned back into her pillow and Gil lifted the boy pleased that they had had the forethought to pull on pajamas after making love the second time. "Do you think that I'd leave without telling you?" Gily tried to hide his tears from his father. "Gily I told you that I'd tell you if I had to leave and that I'd never leave you for more than a few days at a time."

The boy clung fiercely digging his small strong hands into Gil's sides. "I don't want you to ever go. I don't want you to go back to work. You might not come back. You might decide you don't like me anymore."

Gil kissed the boys soft curls. "Gily do you think your mommy would ever stop liking you?"

He shook his head from side to side. "Well I'm just like mommy. I'd never stop liking you or loving you. Will you ever stop liking me?"

"Nope." He was scandalized by the prospect

"Good"

Gil held his son close, the boy's head resting on his shoulder.

Sara fell back into the bed. It was nice to have someone else to answer questions. To drive the car-pools. She hadn't realized how tired she was.

Gil should have put Gily back in his own bed but the two nights of strenuous lovemaking had knocked the wind out of both of them.

"Did you and mommy get married?"

"No we didn't get married."

Gily sandwiched his slender frame between his parents.

"Mommy said only married people sleep in the same bed. Can I have pancakes in the morning?"

Grissom and Sara were relieved that their son was more interested in food than their sleeping arrangements.


	8. 8

Chapter 8

Sara snuggled close to Grissom as he spoke into the phone. "Conrad, you and I both know that law is on my side and you know that only God has more accumulated time than I do. Don't force my hand Conrad." Sara shivered a little. His voice sounded a bit like the Gil she'd had the affair with those many years ago. He felt her pull away and kissed the top of her forehead.

"Look Conrad, I told you and I told HR. My son is having separation anxiety. I'll try and get back in a few weeks. I make no promises."

Gil looked at Sara as she loaded the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. She was still dressed in her robe and slippers. Gily was watching cartoons. It was Saturday; they were all tired from an overfilled week. Gily's only demands required food with lots of salt and fruit flavored soda.

"Sara"

She smiled at him as she closed the dishwasher door shut. "Yes."

She saw the seriousness in his eyes and panic seized her.

"We have to talk about what we are doing here."

She looked over his shoulder to make sure Gily was absorbed with the television program. As he saw her turn sideways his eyes narrowed like they did when he was about to solve an interesting puzzle. He put his glasses on and looked closely at her.

"Sara"

She didn't look at him as she tossed a paper towel into the garbage. "Yes" Her back was too him now.

"Sara, please look at me."

She turned towards him. He held out his hand and beckoned. "Honey, come here."

She stood rooted to her spot.

He pleaded. "Please."

She walked slowly to where Gil sat on his favorite bar stool. He wrapped his hand around her waist. His eyes traveled the length of her body and stopped at her waistline, her full breasts and finally her face. His hand rested on the roundness below her robes sash. He kissed her just below her ear. "So have you neglected to tell me something?"

Sara pressed her lips together and released. She looked into his bright blue eyes. She wondered if their next baby would have such startling eyes. She knew that he had figured it out but she needed to speak the words to him if not to herself. "I'm going to have another baby." She corrected herself. "We are going to have another baby."

"I see. I thought you were on the pill."

"I didn't get the prescription refilled."

He raised his eyebrow and pulled her closer. "You can tell me anything you know." Gily watched his daddy whisper in his mother's ear. It always made her happy when he did that.

"I was scared you were going to leave me again. I thought another baby might make you stay. I can't believe I pulled a stunt like that. I am almost 40 years old and pull some teenaged bullshit. I should know better. You are leaving right?"

His right hand stroked the roundness of her belly marveling that he should have one but two children. Gil Grissom with two strong handsome sons or maybe a son and a smart, beautiful daughter, "I love you."

Sara was silent.

"I guess I deserve that."

Sara glanced back at her son. She let out all the pain that had accumulated over the last five years. "He looks so much like you. When he turned one and I could see how much he looked like…" He pulled her closer.

"You both have good reason not to trust me." He kissed the hollow of her neck. "I want you guys to move back to Vegas with me


	9. 9

Chapter 9

Gily held on his mother's hand as she walked the familiar corridors of the Las Vegas Crime lab. She knew that Gil's office had moved and she stopped to ask the receptionist for directions. Gily's head swung back and forth watching the people go by. Warrick stopped when he saw the little boy.

"Hey buddy how's it going?"

"My mommy has a picture of you."

"She does?"

"Yeah you are um-Wart. When my hair gets too long she says I have Wart hair. She says that girls like Wart hair. She says that girls really like you. Madison tried to kiss me once but I ran away."

Warrick looked at the long legs and slender back. "Sara?"

She turned at the sound of her old friend's voice. He looked from the little boy to Sara. He had heard the rumors but this kid looked like Grissom miniature.

"Honey who shrunk Gil Grissom?"

Gily smiled. He liked being compared to his father. He was currently pestering his father to shave his beard so that everyone could see their identical clefts.

Sara leaned in to give Warrick a hug and heard a slow drawl over her shoulder. "Well look what the cat drug in."

"Nicky!"

"Look at you girl. You get prettier and prettier every year."

Gily interjected himself into the conversation. The arrival of the elder Gil had shaken off some of shyness. "That's what Daddy says."

Gily's head was almost all the way back so he could get a look at him.

"Okay that's just creepy I feel like I should hand him my reports."

Grissom rounded the corner with Catherine. Gily smiled winningly, not at Gil, but at Catherine. "Are you a princess?" The little boy wanted to know.

"Oh Gil he's so much more charming than you are."

"Hey I thought you came to see me?"

Gily was still staring at Catherine. He was certain she was a princess. Her crown and wand must be in her high car. "I see you all the time Daddy."

Warrick watched the smaller Gil. "Uh homes," Gily looked at Warrick. Warrick gestured with an E.T. figure "We got enough of the hair and eye thing going on around here. You might want to take up painting or something."

Gily spoke with the perfection of four-year-old logic. "You must be the prince."


	10. 10

Chapter 10

If she hadn't been pregnant, Sara knew that she would have taken up smoking again. She was in a state that could only be categorized as agitated. Her dark eyes scanned the new house, Gily's spacious room next to the brother that would come in a four months. She had taken to motherhood naturally, with very little anxiety. When Gily had arrived she had loved him an nurtured him in a way that she had never been. It was one of the things that she had been put on earth to do, like being a scientist or a good friend.

Now she was setting up house with Gil and her nerves were nearly raw. She didn't know if she had chosen the right furniture, bought the best sheets or stocked their small wine room with the appropriate vintages.

She poured over Martha Stewart and Better Homes trying to be learn how to be a wife only she wasn't a wife. Gil had said nothing about marriage instead he appeared to be completely comfortable with their living arrangements.

"Sara" Catherine called from the front entrance.

She appeared in the kitchen her face full of appreciation. "Sara Sidle this place is breathtaking. Who knew you had this kind of eye." She turned to face the spacious living area.

Sara pointed to her stack of books and magazines. "Homework."

"Still the same old Sara."

"You want some coffee, some wine? I can't have any but it should be okay for you."

Catherine shook her head forlornly. "Guess whose old ass is knocked up."

Sara grinned in delight. "What did Warrick say?"

"Something about keeping those Grissom kids away from his daughter."

"You know what you are having?"

"Warrick's grandmother did some mojo over my belly and she says it a girl."

"What did his grandmother think of you? You are a skinny white girl you know."

"She's coming around. She and Linds are close. You should see them. This pale blond teenager and this Lena Horne look alike. They had grandparent's day at the school and there was Sam Braun, old casino boss, Marilyn Brown, the Josephine Baker of Vegas and my mother Jacqueline Willows former showgirl headliner. I think the other kids were summarily impressed and the teachers quite possibly frightened."

Sara rummaged through the cabinets. "I have some tea that is supposed that I drank with Gily, supposed to increase the baby's IQ."

"Increase IQ…these kids were bred by four of the smartest people I know."

Sara laughed. It was to have Cath around again. Sara set the sleek modern kettle on the eye. Flames whipped up around it. She had wanted a gas stove because she'd read in one of Emeril's books that serious cooks preferred gas over electric.

She poured two cups. They were from a depression era set that Sara had found at a flee market. The teapot made a finishing sound as Sara finally located the tea.

"So how are you settling in?"

Catherine tapped Gil on the shoulder. He jumped a little. She had called his name several times before initiating the touch.

He looked up for the mountain of paperwork that had accumulated while they had been in California.

"Hey knocked and over forty. How's tricks?"

"Did you just used knocked up and trick in the same sentence? You have to stop hanging around Brass."

Catherine remained standing.

"This can't be good. You are standing so you can keep the position of power."

Catherine nodded. Gil knew all her tricks to compensate for being a petite slight woman.

"The place is beautiful Gil. Sara has done wonders."

Gil smiled with pride.

"How many times do they have mass during the week?"

Gil wondered where this was going. "Loads…Why?"

"Because you need to be there every time they ring the bells. You have a son, one on the way and the woman you love back. God needs to hear from you all day everyday..."

Gil's mother would have said much the same thing. He was sorry that she hadn't lived to see his son.

"So what's the but?"

Catherine took a step closer. Her arms were folded. "The but is that Sara is trying to make everything picture perfect for you, not because she wants to, but so that she can show you that's she worthy of your love or marriage."

"Sara doesn't have those medieval attitudes. She likes to do that stuff. Her house in California was nice and she baked bread and grew her own herbs. You know how she is. She likes learning knew things," Gil dismissed Catherine's observations.

"Alright then here's a little quiz. Have you ordered pizza, bought burgers or consumed any type of fast food since she moved here."

Gil cocked his head to one side. "No…that doesn't mean anything. You know she doesn't eat much meat and she wants to eat healthy for the baby."

Catherine barreled on. "Gily's birthday is next month. Do you know where it's going to be?"

"At the house."

"Do you know how many kids?"

"Gily's class she said."

"There are fifteen kids in Gily's class and if Sara invites his entire age group we are looking at least thirty kids."

"That's a lot?"

Catherine shook her strawberry blond tresses. "Gil I don't know any pregnant woman that wants to throw a birthday party in her home with thirty kids that barely know how to wipe their noses. This is a time when you pack those puppies up and take them to Circus Circus with a slew of nannies and lots of cash while you get her the prenatal massage in the spa. Lindsey's sweet sixteen is in a few months and I am this close to sending her and friend off to Europe with my sister. The idea of some big hoo-ha makes me want to pass out. I won't even dwell on the fact that she probably still working fulltime."

Gil leaned forward as he remembered the nights she had called from work, still up going over cases she was consulting for.

"And what is the deal with this cocktail party?"

"She wants to see everyone again all at once."

"The entire lab…she didn't work with the entire lab. She worked ten people at the most and those ten will be happy with a case of beer and take out pizzas."

Grissom thought of Nick, Warrick, Greg, Jacqui and Bobby. They would all prefer the beer and pizza to finger food and designer martinis.

"Gil she is waving her hand in the air like when she was your student. The woman is jumping up and down saying "me" "me". Pick me Dr. Grissom because I will be a super wife, a great mother and good for your career to boot."

"Sara knows that I don't care about that stuff."

"How could she Gil? When it was decision making time you didn't choose Sara. She thinks analytically. She is increasing her odds of being Mrs. Grissom in a very calculated but desperate way. Sara is terrified that you will decide she's not the one like you did before."

Gil didn't speak as he thought of the fresh flowers, the precisely laundered shirts and the home cooking at every meal. Gil hadn't made himself so much as a sandwich since Sara and Gily had moved in.

"What do I do?"

"First, are you planning to marry the woman because she needs to know if you are or if the Julia thing spoiled it for her?"

"I have to wait for an annulment."

"Why are you getting an annulment? I thought you couldn't those unless you had not done the wild thing."

"I'm getting a church annulment. Marriage is a sacrament of the Catholic Church. If I want to be married in the church again, I have my first marriage annulled first. It can be an a long process and it can take a while"

"Sara is hung up on being married in church?"

Gil sighed heavily. "Sara is very conventional. Her parents were hippies and her childhood wasn't great. Do you know the last time I went to mass before Sara moved? It was when I married Julia. With Sara we go every week and she had threatened to make me join the Knight of Columbus. She and Gily converted to Catholicism because I was raised Catholic and this was when I wasn't in the picture."

"Have you told her about the annulment?"

"No, I didn't want to get her hopes up in case it didn't work out. Whatever happens I want the proposal and the ring to at least hold a small element of surprise. I thought we were on the same page. I thought she knew we were headed that way. We have two kids for goodness sake. "

"Tell her for God's sake Gil cause this Martha Stewart on speed routine is making me look bad to tall dark and handsome."

Sara walked forlornly in the back door. She had been all over town looking for X-men plates for Gily's birthday party. She was surprised to see Gil stirring something on the stove.

He took her purse and bags chastising her for lifting anything. "Sara you should not be carrying anything heavy."

"It's just paper plates. What are you doing?"

"Making dinner for my family."

He kissed her cheek and pushed her towards the kitchen table. "Keep me company while I create."

"What are you creating?" She was glad to be off her feet.

Gil shook his head and set down a glass of iced tea for Sara.

He tossed something green into the pot. Sara craned her neck to see. "Is that your mom's sauce? When I was pregnant with Gil I had lustful thoughts about that sauce."

He brought a basket of bread and bowl of pasta to the table. Gil had made his one pasta dish that Maria Grissom had taught him.

"Where's Gily?"

"Lindsey's babysitting. They were hatching some scheme about cute boys and the mall. Lindsey apparently uses him as bait. Gily thinks that if he can't have Catherine then Lindsey will do. He seems to think time is on his side. He wanted to know if we could buy her a crown for Christmas."

"Where does he get this stuff?"

"He loves beautiful women like his father."

Gil kissed Sara's forehead before he pulled a chair to her.

His hand clasped hers.

"You need to rest. You are overdoing."

Sara started to argue but thought better of it. She was dead on her feet. She couldn't keep the pace up.

"Catherine seems to think you are doing all this stuff with the house and Gily to try and convince me to marry you."

Sara was silent. It was one her defense mechanisms. When she was cornered she clammed up or started babbling.

"Honey?"

"I want to make a nice home for my family," she said skirting past the marriage issue.

"You didn't answer my question."

Sara tucked an errant curl behind her ear. "I booked Circus Circus and their nanny service for Gily's party. You and Cath will be in the spa during the festivities. Warrick and I will stand watch."

Sara sighed heavily and snapped, "I can handle my own son's birthday party Gil. I'm pregnant not and invalid. What do you think I did before you came in on your white horse?"

Gil thought of the day he had told her he loved her and she hadn't responded. He knew this was hard for her and understood that it was going to take time.

"Ouch."

Sara slumped suddenly. "I am sorry that was uncalled for."

He inched his chair closer. "S'okay, I know I don't have the best track record."

She put her hand over his mouth. "Please stop saying that. Please…"

He nodded. He understood that references like that reminded her of when things had been difficult between them.

He kissed her finger tips. "I talked to Bishop O'Neal today."

She savored the feel of his mouth on her hand. "Why?"

"To see if he could expedite my annulment."

"I didn't know you were getting an annulment."

"I knew you wanted to marry in the church. It was supposed to be a surprise."

He touched his forehead to hers. Gily called them the aliens when they did that.

She smiled self-consciously. "I just wanted you to know that I was a good wife."

"Sara Sidle…I know you don't want to talk about this but I need you to hear me say this. I made a terrible mistake five years ago. I was a coward, frightened of the control you had over, the lack of control I over myself. It was everything I expected and everything I was afraid of. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you and Gily."

He kissed her softly. "What do you say we go look at rings?"


End file.
